Boycott "If She Did It"

Horace Krouch’s latest book makes a mockery of the legal system and all of those who know that Destiny Blande is the Satin Strangler. The book appears in the fiction section of bookstores, but we all know it’s nonfiction. I’ll read it when Destiny Blande’s name appears in it, instead of Daphne Blain, but not a second before that. Everyone is making money off the deaths of innocent men. It’s atrocious. At least give the money where it’s due, Mr. Krouch – to the families of your client’s victim.

Another Satin Strangler Trial

Okay, now you will see what happens when an obvious murderer like Destiny Blande goes to trial and a jury of crack-smoking morons can’t get in the way of justice. Can anybody out there explain to me why we have to have juries for murder trials? The average person has no idea what they’re doing in a murder trial. It all comes down to the lawyers. If a defense attorney can spin the truth around in circles until nobody knows what the hell is going on, the average juror doesn’t stand a chance. But take the jury out of the equation and the BS gets wiped away. OJ learned that lesson when he lost his civil suit after his so-called “Dream Team” of lawyers duped the dopes in the criminal trial.

Sex Video

Okay, now it all makes sense. Have you seen the video yet? And this is fun for people? No wonder Destiny Blande is America’s Most Eligible Bachelorette. Satin Strangler. Movie star. What’s next?

Most Eligible for the Gas Chamber

Now I know for sure that the apocalypse is upon us. Everyone keeps talking about Destiny Blande being America’s most eligible bachelorette.

But then again, I suppose a lot of young men these days are looking for a serial killer to bring home to mom. “Soo . . . Bobby Junior tells us you strangle men for a living. Now that’s an interesting line of work. How did you become interested in murder?”

Well this all makes more sense than I originally thought. And to think I would have preferred someone with fewer murders in her past. But then again, maybe that’s just me, Mr. Traditional.

Stop the nonsense, people. Don’t make a celebrity out of a killer. The attention she’s getting is unbelievable. Get it under control.

If She Did It???

As though we don't need more reasons to hate Horace Krouch, the pompous defense attorney has now written a book called If She Did It. If she did it?? Are you kidding me? Is there anyone out there who thinks that Destiny Blande isn't the Satin Strangler? Now her lawyer's making money off the practical joke that the jury played on us. Is anyone paying attention out there?

Satin Strangler Jury Smokes Crack

The jury in the Satin Strangler case had to be smoking crack to make one of the worst courtroom decisions in history. In case you somehow missed it, I am going to spoil tonight’s “instant classic” Strangler Network coverage for you. NOT GUILTY???!!! That’s right. Not guilty. She killed more than 60 men, but New Jersey couldn’t even convict her.

My great grandparents remember the moment they heard that Pearl Harbor was attacked. My grandparents will never forget when JFK was shot. My parents were drunk in a bar in Manhattan watching a basketball game as O.J. Simpson’s white Bronco crawled down the highway in that slow-motion police “chase.”

Now we will always remember where we were when the Satin Strangler, Destiny Blande, was inexplicably acquitted. I was sitting on my living room couch in my “Take Hold of Destiny” t-shirt – the one with the satin stocking design around the collar. Just as I was about to pour milk on my Frosted Flakes lunch, “any day” became forever memorable.

I sense a blogging frenzy. Good thing I have spare time during my employment “sabbatical.” You’ll be hearing more from me soon, then again and again.

Hey. Does anyone know what the hell went wrong with that New Jersey jury?

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Orange Jumpsuit for Destiny

What the hell is going on with all this fashion talk about Destiny Blande? She's not a runway model, folks. She's the Satin Strangler. She's been running around killing men for a hobby. She ought to be in a good old fashioned orange jumpsuit. This trial is making me sick.