Satin Strangler Jury Smokes Crack

The jury in the Satin Strangler case had to be smoking crack to make one of the worst courtroom decisions in history. In case you somehow missed it, I am going to spoil tonight’s “instant classic” Strangler Network coverage for you. NOT GUILTY???!!! That’s right. Not guilty. She killed more than 60 men, but New Jersey couldn’t even convict her.

My great grandparents remember the moment they heard that Pearl Harbor was attacked. My grandparents will never forget when JFK was shot. My parents were drunk in a bar in Manhattan watching a basketball game as O.J. Simpson’s white Bronco crawled down the highway in that slow-motion police “chase.”

Now we will always remember where we were when the Satin Strangler, Destiny Blande, was inexplicably acquitted. I was sitting on my living room couch in my “Take Hold of Destiny” t-shirt – the one with the satin stocking design around the collar. Just as I was about to pour milk on my Frosted Flakes lunch, “any day” became forever memorable.

I sense a blogging frenzy. Good thing I have spare time during my employment “sabbatical.” You’ll be hearing more from me soon, then again and again.

Hey. Does anyone know what the hell went wrong with that New Jersey jury?

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